I’m posting this a couple of days after my intended delivery this week, because I’ve been working hard behind the scenes to bring you my new free guide (more details below).
I’m so proud of myself for all that completing this useful thing of beauty represents – mainly, that I was WILLING to do the hard thing
- the thing that I couldn’t conceive of from the beginning
- the thing that required me to learn many new things
- the thing that required me to spend hours and days figuring out only to “start over”
- the thing that required refinement
- the thing that took walking through the steps, over time, to bring to a satisfying conclusion.
I knew (or at least thought) I was able, but it got done because I was finally willing.
I began to truly see that all of the technology that allows this to happen was not an obstacle, but the path. Ha, ha! Sometimes it takes us years before we truly grasp the most fundamental of yogic teachings!
I was willing to “work in the dark”, the phrase that’s come to me when we don’t know exactly how it will all go and the finish-line seems very far away.
I was willing to work through the challenging things and do things over. I was willing to ask for help and to make my own way.
So, my dear, what does this have to do with you and your journey towards a sane and enjoyable relationship with food? Or any goal you might have, for that matter.
You may say time and time again that you WANT a certain outcome, but you will never have it until you are WILLING to do what it takes, and sometimes what it takes can be confusing, arduous, or slow.
Now, if you’ve been keeping up with what I’m putting down here, you know I am all about guiding you in a way towards thriving at your natural weight that is pleasurable and easeful. So, I’m certainly not now advocating that you beat yourself up, apply tons of stress-inducing “willpower” (which never works anyway), or deprive yourselves of food you love to reach your goal.
But as the well-worn saying goes: “If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.”
Here is the process that helped me become willing, and I hope it helps you:
- Is what you say you want meaningful and inspiring? — Does your goal feel uplifting or defeating when you think about it? Language is important, my friend. For me, “losing 10 pounds” sounds like drudgery and war, but “learning how to be at peace with my body and treat her in a way she will thrive” is inspiring. It evokes something that is worth moving through setbacks to reach.
- Are you willing? — With your aspiration well-articulated, have an honest conversation with yourself about whether you are willing or not to do what it takes to move in that direction. And here’s the thing — You don’t have to be! Please hear this: you are NOT a better or worse human being for being willing or not willing to do the work to meet your desires. Repeat this to yourself several times. Mind-blowing, right? Your worth as a human being is not determined by how much you weigh or whether you binge-watch Netflix instead of going for a walk. Being in good health is NOT an obligation. If you are unsure about this, do this thought experiment – think of someone whose work or friendship you admire that is not in the best of health and whose actions (smoking, over-eating, etc.) you imagine might contribute to that. Do you ever think, “If only they…, their work/friendship would be so much more valuable”? This is a topic for a whole other post, but in the meantime, if this piques your interest, check out this blog post. For a long time I simply was not willing to do “the hard thing” when it came to business. Now I am. When I gave myself permission to not be willing and clarified my true desires, the willingness came along. And you know what else? The “hard thing” didn’t seem so hard anymore. If you are not yet willing, are you willing to be willing?
- Clarify your “competing desires” – You haven’t yet reached your goals because when the rubber meets the road, there’s a thing or three you want more than the thing you say you want. Usually that is wrapped up in the words “comfort”, “ease”, or “fun”. Again, those are not in and of themselves bad, and, in fact, I teach A LOT of going towards those things. But there’s a skill to discerning when and how to do this. What currently do you want more? When you bring this to light, you are better able to either wholeheartedly embrace your choices or change them.
Friend, if you find that you ARE willing and want my guidance and support, I now have this beautiful free guide (that I am ridiculously proud of!) for you that contains 3 key steps I teach my clients to eating with pleasure and thriving at your natural weight. Read more about it to see if it’s right for you and please share this post and guide with others who you think might really benefit!
I’d love to know how this inquiry turns out for you! Let me know!
May your days be truly delicious and satisfying!
Hi! I’m Laura Jarrait and I work with women who adore good food but feel like it’s running or ruining their lives. They don’t want to diet or quit socializing around food but are tired of feeling less than their best and guilty, obsessive, or confused about what they eat. I help them keep the pleasure and drop the stressful thinking and extra weight, so they feel confident, light and free — all without ending their love affair with food!
I would be thrilled to help you do the same! Get your free Beautiful You guide that teaches YOU how to eat with pleasure and thrive at your natural weight or learn more about how I can support you in your eating, body love, and weight-loss goals.