I was talking to a new friend the other day about her life and goals — she said after getting married and having a baby and starting a business, the past four years have been a whirlwind (I know all of you mommas can relate), that sometimes she looks in the mirror and doesn’t know who she is anymore, she doesn’t recognize the person staring back at her. She wonders when it’s going to be her turn.
Here’s the thing. Nobody ever gives you your turn, people are quite happy to have you do for them. So, you have to decide when it’s time. And that’s what she’s doing — deciding that 2019 is the time to re-commit to her health, to her being, and to get her mojo back after slipping to the bottom of her priority list for some time.
Truthfully, I’m impressed. I told her that even though four years seems like forever, it’s not so very long. I see so many people who spend their whole lifetimes doing for others before they do for themselves. As women, we have been TRAINED to do that. We are taught that serving others first is laudable, that it’s our job to take care of others, to make sure that everyone is happy and cared for. But seldom do we include ourselves on that list — or if we do, our “self-care” looks more like a haphazard stress/reward cycle with things that don’t truly rejuvenate or refresh us — they simply take the edge off for a little while.
But, my friend, you need more than that. And there is truly no time like the present.
Do you know the saying “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”?
Yes, of course, sometimes it is appropriate for others’ needs to take priority — especially if you have young children or children with special needs that you are choosing to care for — and there are times you have to push at home or at work — but it should not be the norm, the constant, the lifelong habit to put yourself last, to always be saying you don’t have the time. If it is, the truth is you’re not doing for others nearly as much or as well as you think you are.
I just heard from another woman who has made 4 hours of self attention and care each morning her priority — 4 hours!! Why?? Precisely because she has a lot of turmoil and hardship within her family and has to be able to show up there and in her business on point and well resourced — and she has studied herself well enough to know that right now, this is what it takes to be able to do that.
Now 4 hours may not be what you need, but I’ll wager that you do need something. And it really helps to get clear on what that something is. A while back I wrote about not being able to have it all — but that doesn’t mean you get nothing.
So, my invitation to you is to not wait — not even until 2019. It’s a fabulous idea to plant seeds now — to choose one small thing that you can change to move you up on your list before the year ends. One thing that will help you begin to recognize yourself in the mirror again — one thing that will nourish you and help you feel like you are a person unto yourself and not just there to satisfy everyone else. One thing that says “it’s my turn now”.
It would be my pleasure and honor to help you with this process — whether it’s around food or movement, a few deep breaths, new thought pathways, holiday challenges, or more. I’d love to assist you in getting clear what the best one thing for now is and to hold your hand and cheer you on into the new year.
My holiday special for discounted coaching is good through this coming Sunday — book before then and have your session any time! Give yourself the gift of my presence and listening to help you hear your own guidance. Go here to schedule your call.
May your days be truly delicious and satisfying!
Hi! I’m Laura Jarrait and I work with women who adore good food but feel like it’s running or ruining their lives. They don’t want to diet or quit socializing around food but are tired of feeling less than their best and guilty, obsessive, or confused about what they eat. I help them keep the pleasure and drop the stressful thinking and extra weight, so they feel confident, light and free — all without ending their love affair with food!
I would be thrilled to help you do the same! Get my free Beautiful You guide that teaches YOU how to eat with pleasure and thrive at your natural weight or learn more about how I can support you in your eating, body love, and weight-loss goals.