I was texting with a friend this morning, one that I miss seeing so much! We always have enriching conversations. She said she was realizing she needed to strip down her “friend time” and be very judicious about where she spends her limited resources of time and energy for the things she really wants in her life – being a present parent, moving her body, working well, connecting with family. She noticed that if she’s not intentional, a sense of obligation and its cousin resentment starts to build up.
Very smart woman.
News flash….you literally can NOT do it all, not the way you are probably thinking of it anyway.
No matter what perfect mom FB groups you are a part of or how many banging yoga bods you see on your IG feed or any other messages you get saying you get to do and have it all.
Several years ago a book came out saying that entrepreneurs who are starting a business need to pick 3 of the following to focus on: Work, Sleep, Family, Fitness, Friends. And this article talks about our ability to only do 2 of these areas at a time well.
You must CHOOSE what’s important to YOU and CONSTRAIN yourself.
And be ok with the rest of it going undone or way less perfectly done.
And since you must choose some things if you hope to accomplish anything, it’s key to hone into what you value and why. Are you merely absorbing what other people say you should think is important, or do you really know what YOU want and how it enriches your life?
When you are clear on that, what you need to do to follow through and keep your promises to yourself (the topic of conversation for next week) becomes so much more possible. And when you follow through and master some things, perhaps it becomes possible to move on to or add something else in a sustainable way.
Even within the very nebulous topic of “health” or “fitness” there are many different ways each of you might approach it. You might prioritize…
- a six-pack
- being able to run around with your children
- not getting headaches
- not yelling or shutting down or eating a bag of potato chips every time something stressful occurs
- joint functionality and mobility
- fitting back into your skinny jeans
- being happy with your body and physical health right now even if it never were to change
- strengthening your immune system
- having strong digestive health
- and on, and on….
When you make a list of all the things you really would like health-wise, really look at it and start to compare, what’s really important to you will rise to the top.
I did this similar thing with financial goals with my friend, Rachelle, over at The Art of Love and Money – check her out! It was an eye-opening exercise to take the top 20 things I want to do with money and put them side by side in pairs to see what was really my priority — enjoying music or going on vacation, paying off debt or enjoying music, going on vacation or fixing up the house, etc…..
You get the picture.
THEN you can figure out if you need to spend hours with a trainer and eat just salad or take a five-minute jog around the block, do a vigorous or gentle yoga practice, roll in the grass with your child or dog, or dance in the living room to a song or three and call it a day. If you really want to stop eating a big bowl of ice cream every night or to decide that you are ok with that.
As vast and infinite as you are on your insides, you live in a body that has limited time, energy, and money to pursue the life, body, and health that you want. It’s true that as you become more masterful, you can learn how to cultivate more of these.
But start with what you have and decide what you want to do with it.
Let me know how it goes!
May your days be truly delicious and satisfying!
P.S. If you want help getting clear on what you want or how to get there once you know, let’s chat. You can book a free mini-session with me here.
Hi! I’m Laura Jarrait and I work with women who adore good food but feel like it’s running or ruining their lives. They don’t want to diet or quit socializing around food but are tired of feeling less than their best and guilty, obsessive, or confused about what they eat. I help them keep the pleasure and drop the stressful thinking and extra weight, so they feel confident, light and free — all without ending their love affair with food!
I would be thrilled to help you do the same! Get my free Beautiful You guide that teaches YOU how to eat with pleasure and thrive at your natural weight or learn more about how I can support you in your eating, body love, and weight-loss goals.