Last week I saw a friend who says she often feels “not enough”. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, not successful enough, not ____ enough. Sound familiar?!?!
Interestingly, if you met her, you would most likely draw the conclusion that she is way more enough than ALL of those things.
And yet, I imagine she’s not alone. Well, I don’t have to imagine, I KNOW because I have been there, I am still there in some areas and have others pay their rare but occasional visit. And I know so many women, friends of mine, amazing human beings with humongous gifts, that have those same thoughts, at least some of the time.
And having those thoughts tends to make us not share those gifts and delay all sorts of other action that would be sooo satisfying and move us toward our goals.
Not the goals of “feeling ___ enough”, but of what we imagine feeling that way would give us.
So, just like I am emphatic that pleasure is not something we have to delay until we “feel like” we deserve it, you don’t have to delay feeling enough of ANYTHING.
Because “feeling enough” is not and will never be determined by some external circumstance (bank account, your dad’s approval, skinny jeans, etc).
“Enoughness” is a totally subjective moving target – it is an arbitrary word that we use cruelly against ourselves most of the time.
And, “feeling enough” is not actually a feeling at all, but a series of thoughts we have.
And you have the capacity to start changing your thinking. You have the capacity to decide to please yourself, to do what you would do if you knew you were enough NOW. Watch what happens then!
Prompted by my friend’s thinking, I posed the question on my Facebook page “What do you think would happen when you are as skinny as you want to be?”. You could fill in the blank with anything other than “skinny” that you feel not enough about…healthy, disciplined, pretty, successful, etc.
Several people wrote that they would fit in their clothes, feel comfortable in their clothes, look good in their clothes, etc.
Now, I understand having a fabulous pair of pants or a dress in your closet that you might think “one day…”
…But here’s the thing…these women could, right now, go buy new clothes that they felt comfortable in, fabulous in, that fit them well, and that they looked good in. RIGHT NOW.
There are women of all shapes and sizes that dress well, feel comfortable, and look amazing. Start to look for them!
That action of pleasing yourself and confidence is a victorious cycle that will take you where you want to go. You might, believe it or not, be able to let go of the “one day” pants or you might find a new level of commitment to taking action that moves you toward your natural weight or eat in a way that energizes rather than depletes you. You might shine brighter, ask for what you need, share your gifts, change the world.
Don’t wait another day, my friend. Take action from your “enoughness” right now. What is one thing that you will do this week for yourself? I would love to hear from you!
If you want to learn how to change your thinking about your body so you can get out in the world with all of your “oh-so-more-than-enoughness” then send me a quick email and I will send you the details of my upcoming Love Your Body Now 5-day challenge.
May your days be truly delicious and satisfying!
Hi! I’m Laura Jarrait and I work with women who adore good food but feel like it’s running or ruining their lives. They don’t want to diet or quit socializing around food but are tired of feeling less than their best and guilty, obsessive, or confused about what they eat. I help them keep the pleasure and drop the stressful thinking and extra weight, so they feel confident, light and free — all without ending their love affair with food!
I would be thrilled to help you do the same! Get my free Beautiful You guide that teaches YOU how to eat with pleasure and thrive at your natural weight or learn more about how I can support you in your eating, body love, and weight-loss goals.