Do You Need to Have to Lose Weight in Order to Need a Different Relationship with Food, Eating, and your Body?
Last week I got a chance to meet a new friend. She’s a personal trainer. In amazing shape. When I told her how I work with women and that I have an upcoming body image challenge, she asked me “how do you learn to love your body? I preach that to my clients all the time, but I don’t even love mine. I can point out so many things wrong with it.”
When I launched this new business and started writing to you, I was of course aware that many, many of you I know through yoga and you’re in pretty good health (I think). Many of you who have been here a while don’t objectively need to lose weight. So I wondered if this would be of use?
But as I’ve coached you, I see this is a silly question…. The conversations and encounters I am having are piling up that make me realize you might need this work anyway.
I talked to a woman last night who has a friend who doesn’t allow herself bread….or….butter….or alcohol. She lives in Luxemborg! She’s been “on a diet” for years and has become difficult to socialize with, even more withdrawn, and not very much fun. All in the name of controlling her weight.
A yoga teacher colleague I respect recently posted on social media “Your body is the problem”. The larger point of the whole post had some merit along the lines of we are more than our bodies. But even so, she said that she will always find something wrong with her body, there will always be something she doesn’t like about it, some fault to find.
And…there’s a popular post going around talking about “how to talk to your daughters about their bodies” which basically says to never mention them – to talk about strength, health, accomplishments outside their bodies. All good points, but….
…Your children will receive PLENTY of messages about their bodies from other people (there’s a billboard on Times Square advertising appetite suppressant lollipops to teenage girls right this minute – because god forbid a woman should have an appetite), so teaching yours that hers is magnificent will help stem the tide. But you can only do so if you think that about yours.
The sad truth is that women ARE inordinately judged on their appearance, so it’s an outright revolution not to pretend your body doesn’t exist, but to learn to LOVE yours, right now.
If you spend a lot of time and mental energy thinking about what you eat, your weight (whatever it may be), your size – whether it’s to maintain it or change it, if you are always “watching what you eat” or worrying about the consequences or have said “fuck it” and do whatever you please in an unhealthy way, then learning to love your body as it is RIGHT NOW is key.
We often think we will love our bodies when… (what’s your when?)
…but as evidenced by all of the skinny and fit people I’ve had these conversations with, that is just not true. It’s not true for them, and it won’t magically be true for you.
Instead, what IS true is that when you learn to love your body more, you will think about it less, you will treat it with greater honor with a lot less effort, and the confidence which exudes from you will be magnetic.
And to answer my new friend’s question…yes, there are ways that you can LEARN HOW to do just that. That’s what coaching is all about – teaching you tools, troubleshooting, and having a companion who knows the way.
Why bother? Is it that important? I say “yes” because any person who loves themselves more today than they did yesterday becomes more of a force in this world – in whatever way the want to be. Less self-absorbed, less anxious, more effective, and more creative.
If you want in on these tools, a group of amazing women who want to love who they are right now, and a coach in your corner, then you won’t want to miss my upcoming Love Your Body Now challenge. We start August 1. Email me to let me know you want in and I’ll send you all the details the minute I have them (later this week!)
May your days be truly delicious and satisfying!
Hi! I’m Laura Jarrait and I work with women who adore good food but feel like it’s running or ruining their lives. They don’t want to diet or quit socializing around food but are tired of feeling less than their best and guilty, obsessive, or confused about what they eat. I help them keep the pleasure and drop the stressful thinking and extra weight, so they feel confident, light and free — all without ending their love affair with food!
I would be thrilled to help you do the same! Get my free Beautiful You guide that teaches YOU how to eat with pleasure and thrive at your natural weight or learn more about how I can support you in your eating, body love, and weight-loss goals.