Be Your Own Best Valentine

Earlier this week, I was in a networking meeting and talking about the skills I have and the many things I’ve done…I caught myself thinking, whoa!  I’ve done and can do a lot! …and yet, if I’m honest, the thought that “I haven’t amounted to much” can creep in — often.

So in honor of my 49th birthday, I got inspired to write myself a love letter. To really sit down and think about not only what I can do and have done, but who I am — what is it to be me…. wow!  It was a fun and exercise that filled me with so much peace, true joy, enthusiasm and tenderness towards the imperfect perfection that is me. And it made me want to share this perfectly imperfect self with others — and that sharing was very well-received. Who knew?  Believing in and loving yourself fully inspires the heck out of others! (If you want to see what I came up with, here you go!)

It truly was one of the highlights of my day, to keep my own company like that, and it was the best love letter I’ve ever received — and I didn’t need anyone else to give it to me.

Reading all of the many reactions to Valentine’s Day the next day that came across my FB feed  (sooo many people feeling alone again, naturally, painfully stuck, and unloveable), got me thinking…

What if we ALL could write ourselves the best love letter we’ve ever received?? To know our own value and share it freely. To feel true joy at being us.

• Were you taught, like I was, not to “toot your own horn” or that it’s arrogant to brag about yourself?
• Do you long for others to notice you and appreciate you and see your good qualities, yet you can’t see them or name them for yourself?
• Do you obsess over your “flaws?”
• Do you give and give and give to others and then feel secretly disappointed or even resentful when they don’t seem to appreciate you for it, or worse, don’t reciprocate?
• Do you find it difficult or awkward to receive  compliments?
• Does the voice in your head keep telling you that you should have done more by now or be prettier, or nicer, or stronger or anything else-er?
• Did Valentine’s Day in any little way make you feel lonely, left out, or less than?

It’s how most of us were trained. It’s downright unseemly to think highly of ourselves, right?!  No, we want others to do that for us instead.

So, here’s your chance to turn all of that on its head, to get super clear about just how amazing and loveable you are, and to be able to say it all proudly.

It’s time for you to write yourself your very own Love Letter, to be your own Best Valentine.

But I know that putting pen to paper to writing sweet nothings about yourself isn’t easy so I’m thrilled to guide you in this process through the 

This is a 7 day workshop where you’ll receive guidance, coaching and support that teaches you how to be your own best Valentine. In it you’ll get training on:

• Naming what it is to be uniquely you
• Gaining new perspective on the love you feel like you needed but haven’t gotten – perspective that allows you to move the F on and quit waiting around for someone else to give you what they can’t
• How to appreciate and even embrace the things you currently think are “wrong” with you
• Recognizing and giving yourself mad respect for your efforts and triumphs in life
• Embracing confidence in who you are and what a gift you and your talents and passions are to this world so that you wake up every morning feeling glad to be alive as you.

Here’s the thing:  Self-Care and Self-Love are hot topics in many circles today, yet so many of those conversations don’t go any deeper than getting massages or pedicures — maybe eating some kale. Sure, it feels good in the moment but how long does that warm glow last once you’ve walked out of the spa? Does it truly solve your problems?

When I talk to people about it, I find that very few people really know what it is to love themselves, to know the value of their presence, to feel truly, deeply glad to be them.

Instead we’re so desperate for others to love us, to fill the nagging void of “not good enough” for us.  

Very few people have a clear idea of who they are and how uniquely wonderful and love-worthy that is.

And Valentine’s Day, a silly manufactured holiday, can bring it all to a very painful head.

You absorb the message that to have someone special love you is what makes you legitimate, worthy, and a complete human being.

You look around and assume that being in a couple means happiness….Uhm, hello? You know how many lonely married people there are? I’ve been there. I know.

You overlook all of the love that is available to you all the time.

It’s time to call BS on all of that!

And when I say that, it’s not just your “bad” or “messy”, the things you could do better…

It’s your awesome — your skills, your passions, your quirks, your hard-fought victories.

It’s to be able to see and own fully all of the brightness you bring by being perfectly you.

It’s to look on your “flaws” as part of your uniqueness, and see them with compassion, or better yet tenderness, or even better full on embrace.

It’s to quit wishing you had someone else’s hair, or work, or partner, or abs, or life!

It’s to quit thinking that if you just fill in the blank then you’d be happy.

It’s to wake up every morning glad to be YOU!

Love, THIS is what it means to Love Yourself. And it’s a game changer!

It changes how you treat yourself and makes self-care a breeze.  

It creates an independence that allows you to choose the best relationships (romantic and otherwise), ones that are CHOCK FULL of real, mutual love.

It fosters a deep appreciation of others. (Yes, it actually makes you less selfish, not more)

And it magnifies your contributions and value in the world as you learn to bring your whole self to it.